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  • Writer's pictureTina

Stop comparing yourself to others and take action to improve your life

Updated: Jul 26, 2019

How often do you feel frustrated with yourself? With life in general? How do you react when nothing seems to be working out for you? It can be so easy to give up, mope around and feel pity for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with feeling pity for yourself...recognizing that you can’t have it all is part of making things better and improving your life.

It’s easy to get caught up in negative emotions such as jealousy, loathing, and self-deprecation. It can seem like everyone else around you is doing so well, like they have it all figured out, they have the “recipe” for success. This is such a difficult mindset to be in because it’s simply not true. Almost everyone faces challenges, problems and has to work a lot to become successful. It’s true that most of us have been compared to others, our achievements always measured up to others’ achievements. Comparison is rampant. Many of us still measure success by comparing what we have with what others have. Society still expects individuals to do certain things. Many of the conventions are still very much alive, even though our world is undergoing rapid changes. When we feel like we are “behind” our so-called competitors, we feel anxious, upset, jealous and even powerless. That’s the moment we should take a step back and re-focus our thinking. Positive thinking will do wonders for our mental health.

One of the ways that I deal with such feelings of “failure,” is that I write down lists of achievements and goals. I’ll take a blank page and draw a line down the middle. One the left I will write some things that I’ve achieved that I’m proud of and that I consider to be important. These can include things like “written 5 blog posts this month” or bigger general achievements such as “graduated from my MA program”. On the right-hand side, I’ll write down what I want to achieve that other people have achieved such as “get 1000 views per month” or “get a promotion”. In this category, I will also add some short term goals that are achievable. In this way, even if I am comparing myself to others, I can try to emulate the “good things” that I myself can do. It's OK to compare and feel like you want more, but setting clear goals and taking baby steps will help you achieve more without feeling so frustrated.

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