Why a Self-Defeating Attitude is Hurting Your Career
Updated: Jan 12
I want to begin this post by telling you a bit about my own experience with self-defeating thoughts. I work from home as a freelance writer, mostly writing blog posts for my clients. I'm constantly growing, evolving, and learning new skills. But, I am an absolute FAILURE when it comes to charging the right prices for my services. I am constantly UNDERCHARGING for my work. But, I constantly have a little scary voice in my head that's telling me to charge less so as not to scare off my clients.
Now, anyone who's worked as a freelancer will tell you that this is self-sabotaging and bad behavior. Therefore, I'm currently working on figuring out that aspect of my career and I think I am going to make improvements soon.
The self-defeating attitude is not only holding me back, but it's also limiting my income possibilities.
Have you faced similar issues? Do you fear raising your prices because it might scare off potential clients? Do you fear asking for a raise because of the potential rejection?
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I'm planning on reading a couple of books about self-defeating behaviors in the hopes I can correct my own behaviors and eliminate them.
Having a self-defeating attitude can greatly affect your career, in a negative way, might I add.
I've read up on a bunch of articles about the dangers of a self-defeating attitude, and I've identified 3 major issues. These are the top 3 reasons why you might feel like you're not good enough when it comes to your career. On a basic level, it all comes down to fear and a lack of self-confidence.
Why do I feel like I can't escape this self-defeating attitude?
FEAR OF BEING SUCCESSFUL
If you have a self-defeating attitude, you probably have this unconscious fear of success ingrained in your mind. It can creep up all the time as that little voice in your head always warning you NOT to do this or that. I'm not talking about intuition, instead, I am talking about irrational fear. You fear failure so you avoid doing the things you actually want to do with your career.
If you have this unfavorable trait and even if you have the full potential of becoming a top-notch business executive, or entrepreneur you will never get good at what you are doing because you just do not want to enjoy success. You might even prefer to have a mundane job because you are too scared of what might happen when you get a promotion or if you do a great job. This means you'll stay in a career plateau. I know this is especially true for bloggers who kind of float at the same level because they are afraid of the unknown.
AFRAID OF THE CONSEQUENCES
People with a trait of self-defeat are scared to face the consequences of their actions.
This kind of thinking negatively impacts your career. If you have a bad experience, you then feel afraid of what might happen if you do it again. It's a vicious cycle of fear, lack of confidence, and self-doubt. When you fear the unknown consequences, you block out all the amazing opportunities that might pop up along the way.
NOT VALUING YOUR OWN WORK
If you feel like your work isn't good enough, then you can't develop a good working relationship with other people. You might find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, whether it's coworkers or other freelancers. If you work in a collective setting, you may sacrifice yourself in order to help out others. However, in the end, you are jeopardizing your own career. This is because, even if you have the skills, you will only be able to use this to help others to achieve their career goals. Without confidence in your own abilities, you'll be unable to use these skills to work your way up to another level of your career.
My advice is to take a step back, evaluate your feelings, and make a plan. Self-defeating thoughts and attitudes don't go away on their own. And to be honest, they might never completely fade. But, it's important to identify them and push through them. Only then can you really allow yourself to create the life you want. Once you feel confident, you can demand more of your career, your employers, and your clients.